Matthew 18 Forgiving from the Heart

At the end of this wonderful, practical chapter about relationships in the Kingdom, Jesus says that I will be outside of the Kingdom unless I forgive my brother from my heart. It occurs to me that there are some things I cannot do for myself (such as baptize myself or grant myself authority), but there are also other things that Jesus told me to do, not to ask for help in doing them (I tend to ask, "Lord, help me to forgive," or "God, give me the strength to stop dwelling on the hurt.") Jesus says, "Just do it."

Forgive. How can I? Apparently, Jesus doesn't know how badly it hurts, or He wouldn't command such a thing of me.

But wait. In this story of the unforgiving servant, the dude was forgiven a debt of several million dollars. No way he could ever pay it back, of course. He was forgiven the debt! (Something about "forgive us our debt as we forgive" comes to mind.) So far I'm tracking with You, Lord.

Yet, in the story here, my main man had another servant who owed him "several thousand dollars" (NLV). It wasn't just a couple of bucks, but 100 denarii, which is over 3 months' wages! This was a serious debt. I don't know how one servant could get so indebted to another, really. Perhaps he wrecked the dude's car without insurance. Or perhaps he had been irresponsible with gambling or substance abuse, and had to borrow from his friend to cover his problem. Either way, it was serious. And somehow, my hero's residual guilt caused him to forget the perspective that his debt was now forgiven and he didn't need the money anymore!

Truth is, I have been hurt like that. There are people with splinters in their eyes. Friends have wounded me. Church people have betrayed me. Neighbor kids have stolen my goods and vandalized my property after swimming in my pool and eating my food. I have been beaten up, with words and with fists. It hurts. And it's hard to forgive that. Maybe impossible.

That's where Jesus' law of proportions comes in. Proportionately, a person may have hurt me far more than I hurt that person. But when I add up all the wrong I have done in my life, things spoken and deeds done, things done and left undone, love withheld and slander given, all ultimately against God, I suppose I have committed millions of sins. And no one, however cruel they have been, has committed more than thousands of sins against me. If that is true, how can I hold onto my bitterness and anger?

"LORD, give me Your perspective on my sins and those of others towards me. And when I truly see my own sinfulness, Your Word seems to tell me that I will be able to forgive when You command me to do so. So I won't ask You to help me. I will simply obey. I forgive, as You have forgiven me, through the blood of Jesus. Amen."
-ker