MAINTAINING MY FIVE CIRCLES

I have five circles of relationship in my life, which pretty well determine the priorities of my schedule. The concentric circles emanate outward from the center, closest to farthest. The problem is, I am having a hard time trying to maintain all of them these days.

In the center circle are rightfully only three beings: Jesus, Ellen and me. These are the relationships that must be maintained, no matter what else is going on around me. If I am not in good communication with the Lord (whose I am) and with my wife (with whom I am one flesh), then all else must be cut away in order to re-establish proper unity. And if I am not at peace with myself, then I am only an empty shell of a man who has nothing to give anyone else.

The next circle out contains my immediate family: Becky, Katie and Gregg, Daniel, Cora, Anthony, AJ, Isaac, Jenny and Brad. In my opinion, no friends belong in this circle, and not even my parents. I must carefully protect time with each individual in my nuclear family, so that there are no secrets, no unhealed wounds, no bitterness. After all, if a man does not maintain his own family well, how can he care for a larger circle of friends? Of course, there are enough people in this circle to keep me quite occupied, especially with the challenge of having adult children and also having babies in the house. Ellen and I can pretty easily expend all the energy we have just to keep these relationships healthy, and in times of limited emotional resources (which we seem to be in these days), pulling back from other circles of relationships in order to keep the family strong is appropriate.

The third circle outward is my closest friends: my small group (the house church, to whom I am committed as to family), my parents (if I do not honor them and take care of them, I am worse than an unbeliever), my extended family (my sister, my in-laws, sometimes other family members in need) and the elders (who are my circle of accountability and confidential prayer partners). While there weren't many in my innermost circle, and I can name all of the members of my second circle, this circle contains enough people that I can lose count and can have people move in and out of it.

Circle four is my circle of ministry: my community of faith (CCiPH), my current students, former students with whom I keep in touch, and other friendships that I want to maintain (such as sports parents, friends of my children, community groups, other faculty and staff at school, neighbors, and others whom I can predict seeing repeatedly). Not only do I lose count of the people in this circle, but I realize that it is far too large and flexible to keep up with all of those relationships, or sometimes to even remember everyone's name and life situation.

The fifth circle comes last and is the circle of outreach: people who are strangers to me, or at least only acquaintances, whom I serve in Jesus' name. These people include the people I see at the store or the restaurant, other drivers on the road, new student prospects, people who come in the door of the church, people who receive help from Manna or whom I meet doing servant evangelism or at the community meal, and a thousand other points of entry. If I am healthy, I will continually be meeting new people and establishing new relationships, some of which will, in turn, filter down into the next circle or two.

Here comes my challenge: my family has recently expanded, at the same time that my church circle has expanded. In the meantime, the circle of students and alumni is continually growing, and our parents are in need of more help from us as they get older. So circle two grew by two people even while circle three and four grew substantially with the planting of a new church and a growing program at school. And any church needs to be concerned with outreach, so circle five should also be growing right now. (This actually is a major concern of mine, that we as a church are not meeting as many new people as we might).

As I get older, I find that I have less energy, not more, and there's the rub. For a season at least, I must be pulling back from my commitment to circles five and four, and even to circle three, in order to have enough for circles two and one. I have consciously been doing just that, but it is not easy.

As I look around at others in our church family, I realize that most of us are also experiencing growing circles of relationships around us. Some are struggling as I am to keep up with their inner circles, trying to find health and proper balance. Others may be experiencing a cut-back in some relationships, due to recently moving or to family members moving away or a change in jobs.

This circle illustration is helping me to see my priorities (which I define as decisions I make prior to the crisis that tempts me to abandon them). Jesus kept these priorities: He had His relationship with His Father (they are one), His inner three and His chosen twelve, His friends and extended family whom He loved (Mary, Martha and Lazarus among them), the group that followed Him (which was in flux, some abandoning Him on that Friday) and the multitudes to whom He preached and healed.

I have some work to do. And it is the most enjoyable work of all: loving God with all of me and loving my neighbor as I love myself. As we often say around here: It's all about relationships. And it is.

"LORD, every day I need Your guidance to talk with those whom You place in my path. Make me wise, make me diligent, and make me like Jesus. Amen."
-ker

THE FORGOTTEN FIRST SIGN OF REVIVAL

Today on Father's Day I am reflecting on the joys and rewards of fatherhood. I begin to glimpse on several levels just how crucial the concept of fatherhood is to the heart of God.

In fact, the first mark of the work of God is in the heart of fathers. The ministry of Elijah became the ministry of John the Baptist and, by extension, of Jesus, and that ministry was this: To turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and of children to their fathers, or else I will strike the land with a curse. (Mal. 4:6, Luke 1:17)

The first fruit of revival, then, is not a richer prayer life or a deeper spiritual walk with Jesus. The sign that God's work has begun is not evangelistic zeal and increasing numbers at church. Rather, the surprising first mark of response to the Spirit is a change in the heart of fathers! Their hearts are turned to invest at home, to love their children, to serve and discipline their own families. It begins at home, and spreads from there.

The converse then also begins: the hearts of children are turned to their fathers. They obey rather than rebel, they love rather than resist, they follow in wisdom and maturity rather than fall into dissipation and foolishness. In other words, fathers begin to reap what they have sown.

Fatherhood begins with absolute giving, when a child is a helpless infant, and ends in absolute receiving, when a father is infirmed in old age. The father who invests well in changing diapers and in reading and play, and especially in discipline (according to Proverbs) and encouragement, will earn a richer reward when the child grows to maturity. Slow discipleship focused first on the home will reap a greater and deeper harvest when the next generation does even greater works in Jesus' name.

I am not sure why God does not mention mothers in these passages, except to speculate that mothers tend to already have their hearts turned to their children. In any case, current statistics bear out the important the role of fathers in the lives of their children. I don't have those statistics here, but the correlation is astonishing of how few of the inmates currently held have fathers active in their lives. Indeed, as the Scripture says, "or else I will strike the land with a curse." Price Hill is struck with a curse, and it began with fatherlessness!

This Father's Day, I am most blessed to see that my children are walking in the truth, (2 John 4) and that is true for many others in our congregation. That's why I was so blessed to realize that our worship team this morning averaged under 21 years of age. And it is why we are doubly blessed by father/son teams preaching this month. The church of cciph is reaping the benefit of fathers who began sowing two decades ago into the lives of their children.

"LORD, turn my heart again today and every day to my children. Let me love and serve them. And thank You for the glimpse today of the wonderful, inestimable reward that comes when serving days are done at last. I will be faithful, as You give me strength to do so, by Your Holy Spirit, in the name of Your Son. Amen."
-ker

POWER CORRUPTS

Pardon me for continuing on this topic, but I have more reflections on the corrupting power of church planters and senior pastors.

Years ago, an influential man in the early American Christian churches named Alexander Campbell was opposed to having a paid minister in a church. He called them "hirelings," and saw that they demonstrated a conflict of interests to make a church grow in order to provide their own pay, and that when trouble came to the church they would seek a ministry elsewhere, abandoning the sheep for yet another worker. The solution, he thought, was a plurality of elders who served as long-term, life-long shepherds. Campbell's thinking has become very rare today.

In fact, just today I read these concepts from someone who was opposed to the idea of a church hiring a "resident theologian" to help shape the doctrinal teaching of a congregation. Here are his telling comments:

The idea of a “theologian in residence” requires the senior minister/pastor to surrender or share a tremendous amount of power. . . . The second problem I see is that if “knowledge is power,” and if “power tends to corrupt,” then whoever is engaged in such a pursuit needs to be cautious.

Perhaps this brother does not notice the very serious flaw in his assumptions. He seems blind to the fact that the senior minister even has "a tremendous amount of power" to surrender, and that perhaps churches should have been cautious before hiring a senior minister.

Is there a biblical justification for the position of a senior minister? I see practical advantages to using the one-man leadership model, but other than a few obscure references (such as the concept that the "angels" of each of the churches in Revelation might have been the pastors), I don't see it in the Bible. It seems to me that if a church would start to truly function in community, it would change things tremendously. Instead of one man going up on the mountain to hear from God and deliver "the" message to the people week by week (what we might call the Mosaic model for ministry), maybe churches (or at least their leaders in plural) could together seek God's direction and leading.

Most church planters and senior ministers talk about doing ministry as a team. But what they mean is "You guys help me." Many senior pastors are badly egocentric, with an unrecognized desire to control. He keeps the saints dependent upon himself, rather than serving others and inviting those who will to join him in humble ministry. One reason he doesn't recognize that he is out of balance is because the single-pastor model is the only one he has ever seen.

Though they would not use the term, most senior pastors view themselves as benevolent dictators. They dictate the programs, the teaching, and the direction for the church, but their motives are benevolent. What makes them different from a tyrannical despot is their internal motive, but not their style of leadership.

So I recommend that every church have a worship team, not just a worship minister. Also a preaching/teaching team, not just a preaching minister. Or perhaps I am recommending that those worship or preaching ministers, after being hired, live out a different model for ministry and share the "power" that was given to them.

Clearly, I am still working these thoughts out in my head. It is so personal to me, because I see all of these temptations before me both in our church and at my school. And my own path has been to see my lust for power and to back off. Only eternity will measure whether I did so from false motives or true. I want to have Jesus say to me, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

"LORD, let me see the church the way Jesus sees her. Let me serve, give away, die to self, and let You control, rather than me. I want to be a steward of what authority You grant to me, without denying it, yet I am convinced every day that I must run from the power of organized religion, in Jesus' name. Amen."
-ker

CHOOSING REAL POWER

Rob Fleenor led our small group in a lesson about Peter and John from Acts 4 this week, and here are some insights generated from that study:

First, Peter was led by the Spirit on his way to prayer. Being a Jewish believer, he was going to the temple at the hour of prayer, to participate in the daily synagogue liturgy. There, he saw a beggar who had been there for years. This crippled man had probably seen Peter walk past him every day before, likely without Peter talking to him or giving him alms. In fact, he had probably even see Jesus go by on the Lord's way to the temple. Yet, here he was, still dependent and weak.

But today was different. For whatever reason, today the Spirit nudged Peter to heal this man. Peter said, "Look at us!" The man expected a gift, but he was expecting mere money. "I have no silver or gold, but what I have I give to you: in the name of Jesus of Nazareth, get up and walk." And he did.

I think it was Martin Luther who said of the pope in his day, "No longer can he say, 'Silver and gold have I none,' but likewise neither can he say, 'Get up and walk.'" Yes. Perhaps organized religion wars against and grieves the Holy Spirit, so that no longer do we have spiritual power, since we have so much earthly power. Peter uses the opportunity to preach to the curious crowd about Jesus.

Later that afternoon, Peter is brought before the council to defend his actions. The religious leaders of his generation ask by what authority or in whose name Peter had done this healing. Seems silly, doesn't it? How could they miss the point of a generous and loving act of mercy? But that's what organized religion will do. It creates power, and power corrupts.

Notice that in his reply it says that Peter was filled with the Spirit. I don't know what that felt like, or how Peter knew that for this answer he was especially filled with the Spirit, but it must have been an especially noteworthy moment in the apostle's life. Filled with the Spirit, Peter gives an answer:

"If you are asking how and why a miraculous good deed took place, then let me be clear: It is in the name of Jesus." If I were asked why we give out food at Manna, or why we help people financially, or why we offer counseling services or music lessons, I wonder how clearly I would reply. It is a temptation when, for example, the government offers money to support "faith-based charities," so long as those charities comply with certain restrictions. Money is power, and power corrupts.

After Peter's bold defense, the council noted that he and John were unschooled men, but that they had "been with Jesus." They knew from experience what spiritual power was like, and Peter sounded just like his Lord in his answer.

In my professional world, we care about academic credentials, which mostly means secular credentials. You might say, no longer can we say that we are unschooled. But then perhaps no longer is it clear that we have been with Jesus. Rather, it is clear that we have education, which often substitutes for and mimicks spiritual power.

Organized religion can turn good guys into bad guys in any generation, because it gives power to some and rewards certain behaviors. Then those who have power (authority, respect, money) work to keep themselves in that place, and they will, in the name of serving God, oppose His very work in the next generation because it threatens their position. In Peter's generation, the Pharisees and Saducees were the ones in power, and they opposed Peter. In the middle ages, the pope had the power, and though he claimed to wear the mantle of Peter, his ministry was nothing like Peter's. Today, perhaps one might say, professional pastors and professors are part of the educated elite, and they oppose the work of God in our generation.

In the words of the songwriter, I would rather have Jesus than silver or gold, riches untold, worldwide fame, or anything this world affords. Our little study of Acts 4 reminds me of some potential blindspots that the tastes of power in the evangelical world might tempt me with.

Jesus was tempted with worldly power and wealth. It was at least one of the three most significant temptations to him. When the temptation came, Jesus stopped quoting Scripture and arguing with the devil and told him to be gone. I wonder if I have responded more to rather like the pay and the respect and prestige that organized religion will give me.

"LORD, I would choose to be with Jesus more than I would to study about Him. I would rather talk five words to Jesus than to write a book about the contemporary quest for Him. I would rather walk in discerning, spiritual power than to fall prey to the temptation for temporal worldly power. Let me see through the wiles of the enemy today, and choose You. Amen."
-ker

LIFE IS RELATIONAL

Some years ago I remember reading an article by Fred Smith about parenting. He was devastated to learn from his grown son that he had been a terrible model as a father. His son told him that he consciously wanted to do the opposite of what Fred Smith had done. Now, in most ways, Fred was an ideal Christian father. But his son said there was one thing his dad had never learned: "Life is relational, not productive."

Being a naturally task-oriented person, I noticed that comment. Life does not consist of how much I accomplish in the days I am here, but rather in how I treated the people who matter to me.

I have tried to parent consciously based on that insight. Being a father is about biology and law; being a dad is about relationships and love. I have tried, when I am aware of it, to remember to have a good relationship with my wife and children rather than getting chores done or perfunctorily doing my duty.

In fact, my relationship with God is like that, too. I can't earn salvation. We often say that Christianity is not a religion but a relationship. It's more about abiding in Christ than accomplishing for Him. It's a matter of Who I know, not what I do. I am saved, not because I have worked hard, but because I have abided in Christ.

There is a natural corrolary to this insight, of course: Church is relational, too. Unity is job one, commision is job two. We don't count or publish attendance figures on Sundays because those numbers are misleading. God is more concerned that we be one than that we be a hundred or a thousand.

All of this relational talk doesn't mean that there is no task to do. Jesus said that he was called to do the work of his Father. On the cross he said, "It is finished." The church is under a great commission, and there is a labor prompted by love before us as a congregation. Likewise, stuff of life must be done by me and by the family members. We can't sit around talking to each other all day and consider ourselves to be a well-balanced family.

That's what I'm talking about: balance. Finding it is like a fiddler on the roof. As for me, I guess I have come to an uneasy balance by being inwardly very driven and task-oriented, yet outwardly being amiable and relationship-focused. I am a type-A person with a type-B mask.

My sabbatical is bringing all of this strife for balance to the forefront. Am I healthy? Is my facade wise? Is my inner drivenness right? I am not convinced. In fact, I am convinced that largely I am missing it. More of me needs to surrender, that I might have deep and abiding peace while people distract me from my projects and goals.

Am I driven because God wired me that way, so I should embrace my ambitions? Or am I driven from a very deep-seated need for love? And do I focus on the needs of those around me because Jesus calls me to sacrifice for them? Or am I simply unable to say no out of a fear of men and a desire for acceptance? Oh, wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to Christ my Lord!

"LORD, You alone know what You have for me to do in any given day. Let me surrender fully and completely to Your will each day, without worrying about tomorrow and the overarching goals of my life. I will obey You, Father, who convey Your will through the example of the Son and the guidance of the Counselor, one God without end. Amen."
-ker

FERVENT PRAYER

James says that the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much (in the old KJV). I wonder how much the token reflections of a postmodern man accomplish?

In recent years, my times of intense prayer, seeking the Lord on my knees and with tears, have been few indeed. I have been so caught up in the daily affairs of my life, so busy with the responsibilities of ministry, that I have neglected the very thing that brings them power.

What's more, I think that I have lacked boldness in prayer, not being so sure of God's will, because I haven't taken the time to go deeply into pursuing the mind of Christ.

I wonder if we as a church have the same problem. We have had once-a-month times for united prayer as a church. The first month, nine people came. Then six. Last night, it was two. Similarly, our times of intercessory worship have been attended by as many as nine, but most months lately it has been about three or four people. There are lots of good reasons for low attendance, but I suspect that at least part of the problem here is a lack of motivation.

The most important work of elders is prayer, just as the most important work of a worship team is worship. If the leaders are not willing to go somewhere, how can we lead others to go there?

Prayer is work. I never really want to pray fervently. But I have never regretted doing so after I have gone into the secret place to see the heart of God. I feel the same way about exercise. Who wants to get started in an activity that will make them sweat and hurt? But afterward come the benefits, when I feel strong, I feel energized, and I am ready for more activity.

On a related note, I wonder if we have been lacking in intensity in prayer because we are lacking in faith? This whole postmodern mindset has people calling on some sort of god, but without a clear, unwavering faith in the blood of Jesus. When we don't know whom we are addressing, then how can we know what to ask? And if we are in a state like that, why pray?

If the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much, how much do the token reflections of a postmodern man accomplish?

"LORD, I repent of my prayerless, faithless fear of men. Let me climb the mountain and enter in and go deeper and farther in with You, that I may know Your heart and agree with Your will on earth. In the name of Jesus, who taught us to pray through the power of the Holy Spirit. Amen."
-ker

THE ROADTRIP

Note: for the latest news on the roadtrip, go to www.themoomobile.com

Here are notes from the message of Daniel and Ken on Sunday. These are insights we expect to have from our trip. You might say these are our spiritual hypotheses.

Value of fathers and sons bonding while there is still time. Years go by so quickly and then they are gone. Often as boys become teens relationships change and independence enters a boy’s (*ahem* teen’s) heart. Suddenly it is too late. Even with a great relationship, a boy’s job is to grow to be a man and to find his place in the world and move away. So buy up today.
I’m thinking that we’ll probably bring a trip-log and we’ll be comparing a lot of things with the way that we, in the mid-west, are used to seeing them: gas prices, cities, street signs, speed limits, rest stops (this will be an important one), food, rich suburbs, city slums, as well as the people themselves.

I believe that we will also note that not many people, whether they live on the east coast or west, have ever seen a cow-truck. I’m going to assume that we will have a lot of pictures taken of us as we travel, and that we’ll take a lot of pictures.

God’s majesty is revealed in nature. This is a big country with lots of open spaces and awe-inspiring scenes. Large cities are also amazing, but pale in comparison. This is a trip of worship.

Baseball is a great illustration of life, and contains many metaphors for living the Christian life.

In the BigInning God created the heavens and the earth…..and that’s how baseball came to be.

It’s one, two, three strikes, you’re out. On a practical human level, if you abuse the grace that someone offers you, or you draw too often from the well of favors from someone, you will eventually run out of grace.

It does no good to argue with the Umpire; the decision is never reversed, and you only get kicked out of the game (frankly, if the umpire doesn’t know the rule, then he’ll make one up just to prove you wrong….but let’s not go into that here).

The object of the game is to score more runs than your opponent. It takes both an offense and a defense to do that. With the defense you keep your opponent from scoring, but even if your defense is perfect you can’t win, because you must score runs to win. Defense is fellowship, community and maturing discipleship. Offense is outreach and evangelism. You do the math.

There is no clock in baseball, which is how we should live; it ain’t over til the fat lady sings (which is technically at the beginning of the game) (there is always hope, even when you are down 6 runs in the bottom of the ninth).

Only a few make it to the major leagues, and very few really look good once they get there (literally less than one in a million) (The Straight and narrow).

If you strike out three times for every home run you hit, but you hit 50 home runs in a season, you will still start every game.

Many teams can string together a good run, but that’s why they play 162.

The Yankees are the best team money can buy, and that’s why we hate them.

There’s no crying in baseball; walk it off and get back in there (and don’t rub it!).

Baseball is a game of numbers, and if you don’t like stats don’t bother watching (lucky thing for us is: God doesn’t keep track of numbers).

It takes a team to win or to lose (if you have no team there at the beginning, the other team wins by default).

Play by the rules. You have to respect the game; shortcuts in life, like steroids, do not work in your favor in the long run. 2 Tim 2:5

Of course baseball is slow-paced; like chess or fishing, your imagination fills in the gaps with strategy, statistics and conversation—it’s how men have conversations.

It is unforgivable not to hustle; make mistakes if you must (and you must), but make them with all your effort. As Martin Luther said, “If you are going to sin, sin boldly.” (But because you are neither hot nor cold but lukewarm, I will spit you from my mouth).

Baseball builds character when you win, when you lose, and when you go into extra innings, when you play hurt, when you are praised, when you are criticized. 1 Tim. Prov. ?:??

You gotta have the talent; you gotta have the discipline; you gotta have the love. 1 Cor. 9:27; 1 Cor. 13:1-3

Baseball has been very, very good to me (and so has God. Need we say anything more?).

FINDING BALANCE

We all talk about the need for balance, and agree that a life out of balance is a bad thing. But I find it a real challenge to nail down a proper balance in my life. Balancing work and family, outreach and edification, self and others, each require balance. Even the Bible says this shocking need for balance:

16 Do not be overrighteous, neither be overwise—why destroy yourself?
17 Do not be overwicked, and do not be a fool—why die before your time?
18 It is good to grasp the one and not let go of the other. The man who fears God will avoid all extremes .

But there is no objectively-measured standard for where to put the fulcrum. Can I ever be sure that I have found the perfect balance? And if I find it today, will it be in the same place a year from now? Probably not.

I am on sabbatical this summer and fall, and trying to find where the new point of the fulcrum should be for me. Every day so far I am wrestling with trying to hear God's gentle voice as He guides me in finding balance, trying to learn to ignore the voice of guilt and shame, or the voice of other people, and live in this new obedience of creative work and continued responsibility.

"LORD, teach me to follow You, ever, always, all for Thee."
-ker

EVANGELISTS SWIMMING UPSTREAM

As David Wilkerson said in the article I quoted yesterday, and as Henri Nouwen said in his book, I believe that Christians are called to be counter-cultural. Many churches are begun with a primary goal being relevance. Of course we have to be culturally relevant and speak in the heart language of the people we are reaching. But if I need to adopt "the look" and "the sound" in order to be accepted and admired (my generation called that "cool"), and I call that "relevance," then I think I am missing something very important.

Was Jesus "cool?" Did he dress to impress, adopt the pose and the attitude of the younger generation in order to win their affection and admiration? Or did Jesus speak truth in a radical way, swim against the establishment, love authentically, and make himself winsome in ways other than being culturally cutting edge?

Here is what God said in our morning reading in Deuteronomy 7: "When the LORD your God hands these nations over to you and you conquer them, you must completely destroy them. Make no treaties with them and show them no mercy. Do not intermarry with them, and don't let your daughters and sons marry their sons and daughters. They will lead your young people away from me to worship other gods. Then the anger of the LORD will burn against you, and he will destroy you. Instead, you must break down their pagan altars and shatter their sacred pillars. Cut down their Asherah poles and burn their idols. For you are a holy people, who belong to the LORD your God. Of all the people on earth, the LORD your God has chosen you to be his own special treasure."

Later, he repeats himself. "You must destroy all the nations the LORD your God hands over to you. Show them no mercy and do not worship their gods. If you do, they will trap you."

I think about reaching young people in our neighborhood, and I realize that some approach youth ministry by joining the gangs, and some by intimidating the gangs to move to another street. But I believe that if instead we help gang members to die to themselves and find life in Jesus, then true transformation will take place. It may be slower change on the surface, but will result in long-term revival.

Idols and local gods all promised instant health or fertility and bountiful crops, and it would be a strong temptation to the Israelites to follow those charms and superstitions of the local people. But God promised a better life if they lived counter to the culture. How do we avoid poverty, AIDS, alcoholism and all of the wasting deseases that plague our city?

"If you listen to these regulations and obey them faithfully, the LORD your God will keep his covenant of unfailing love with you, as he solemnly promised your ancestors. He will love you and bless you and make you into a great nation. He will give you many children and give fertility to your lang and your animals. . . . You will be blessed above all the nations of the earth. None of your men or women will be childless, and all your livestock will bear young. And the LORD will protect you from all sickness."

Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 7 something that we also read this morning: "Because we have these promises, dear friends, let us cleanse ourselves from everything that can defile our body or spirit. And let us work toward complete purity because we fear God."

I want to focus outward. But I must not compromise truth in order to make it seem somehow more tasty. LORD, give me wisdom. Change my world!
-ker