JUST BE.

Pardon me for being morose and blunt. The question came to mind for obvious reasons.

If it were up to me, would I rather be dead, or be paralyzed for life? I think that I would tend to say I'm more comfortable with death. I do not fear death, but I don't want to be a burden to other people every day for decades to come. I want to be able to do my share, be worthy of the space I take up, give more than I take, and I fear that I couldn't do that without my limbs.

But if I were to ask Mark Scherer, "Would you rather have Pam as an invalid here on earth, or have her go to heaven now?" his answer would be swift and easy: "I'll take my Pammy in any form I can get her." He wants her here with him while he completes his own sojourn on this planet.

I would feel the same way about Ellen, though I know it would be very, very hard for Ellen to not be able to "do" for herself and others. But I would gladly give up the rest of my life to serve her for the joy of her company. I love Ellen's soul, not her deeds.

And so I realize from yet another angle how often I fall prey into thinking that my value as a person is based on how much I "do" for others. Do I give more than I take? Do I justify my existence by good works?

Of course, where I'm going with this is here: God just wants to be with me. I can't "do" enough to merit his favor. I can never give more than I take. If I just love Him and spend time with Him, He is happy. And He serves me, because He loves me. He just does. That's what He does.

In the words of Tarzan: Him, do. Me, be.